The other day, I happened to visit a guy in the Nordstrom underwear department who looked like he was around 60. He wasn't wearing a wedding band, and he was browsing a rack of dark-colored lacy thongs, teddies and garters. I got a feeling he wasn't shopping for a woman his age, but instead for his 20-something girlfriend. While I don't possess proof, there wasn't one thing on that rack that would be worn by a female over 40.
I am not judging the man at all, but seeing him received me taking into consideration the sugar daddy relationship, more particularly, whether it can actually work.
First, what's the sugar daddy's attraction to young women? Here are several possibilities:
She's hot.
She's fun.
She's got a lot of energy
She makes him come to feel young.
Down deep, he doesn't desire anything serious, so she is perfect for him.
She looks up to him and will make him feel important.
He is proud to have her on his arm.
But even with each one of these positives, I do think there exists a side of a guy dating a much younger women, who at some true stage thinks to himself, "What the hell am I performing?" Just to illustrate -- I received this concept from a reader:
I'm dating a girl who's 23 and I'm substantially older. What's the downside? Both of us enjoy the relationship.
Now, why would this guy reach out and ask about the downside if he is saying "We both enjoy the relationship?" Why does he care? Is definitely he seeking for validation? May I be wanted by him -- a 50 12 months old woman to tell him I approve? Maybe he just wants my opinion, which is this.
If a sugar daddy and his youthful girlfriend are experiencing fun, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. If no person is getting hurt and if there are no false expectations on either right part, then I think it's great. Most of us deserve to be cheerful.
But to remedy my reader's question, "What's the downside?" in my opinion, down deep, he knows, but I'll say it anyway. The drawback is, these sorts of interactions have a shelf lifestyle. In many instances, the sugar daddy relationship only lasts for a time period and then it just doesn't work anymore. Why? Here are 6 possible reasons:
1. The novelty of the partnership wears off plus they realize they have hardly any in common.
2. They run out of things to talk about.
3. The man realizes he wants you to definitely get old (older) with.
4. The girl realizes she wants babies and starts off pressuring the person (or breaks up).
5. The guy does not have the energy the girl does and gets tired of clubbing it until 3:00 am on Saturday nights.
6. They recognize the relationship is not ever going to be as deep as it is wanted by them to be.
It's sad because when any relationship ends, regardless of the age difference, it hurts, due to the fact you have spent a sizable amount of time for someone and you care about that person. Also, I'm not saying that each sugar daddy marriage is doomed. Some ongoing work out, but I believe it's rare.
I've so many guy friends who are in their forties and fifties who notify me they prefer to date ladies around their age. Their reasons stem mostly from the comfort and commonality they look and feel with someone of a similar age.
In closing, I think sugar daddy interactions happen when people aren't particularly buying meaningful commitment. This may be someone who got away of a marriage or a long-term romantic relationship just, or somebody who is in a phase of life where he/she just wants to celebrate.
If a person is looking for a deep commitment truly, he or she is most likely dating someone within a decade either way of how old they are. For me, the Nordstrom guy is on cloud nine, but he has no intention of marrying the recipient of his gift. Good for him. I sincerely mean that. Everyone should date who they want and not value the judgement and stigma of others. But I really believe with regards to true love and long-term happiness, older guy older woman has a much better potential for success than the sugar daddy relationship.